Are we there yet?
by RegularGemstone
Summary: Have you ever wondered what a car ride with the Layton gang would be like? Well this unfortunate villain's about to find out! One shot.


**This idea just came to me one day. For some reason I made Layton and Luke seem like total idiots in this, but oh well. Please review, and I don't own Professor Layton.**

"Great, just great," muttered Don Paulo, master of disguise and apparently, sarcasm. He turned the key again, the result being his purple fancy car to roaring to life, but only to break down again. The unsuccessful villain cursed a few ungentlemanly words before kicking the (now) useless vehicle.

"Stupid hunk o' junk! Next time when I want a car, I'll just buy one like normal people before I try building one myself!" But he decided there was no use standing out there, yelling at his dead car and making a total fool of himself. _How am I going to get home? _He looked around at the busy London road, concluding that the cars were going too fast to notice him standing awkwardly on the side. Or maybe they did see him, but just didn't want to give him a ride. He knew he had a reputation of being weird and creepy around there. Of course no one would stop to help him.

But just as he was about to give up hope, he spotted the red, oddly shaped car that he could never mistake. After all, he'd built a replica of this exact car.

"Ugh, Layton," he grumbled. Why did he always have to be the hero? Always! Don Paulo made a vow at that second, that he would never ever in his whole existence let Layton somehow save him, no matter how much he needed it. He prayed that the archeologist would just keep on driving. He begged, to no one in particular. _Please, please, pleeeeaase don't let him stop!_ But as that little red car pulled to a halt, he remembered that villains never have any luck.

Layton wound down his window. "Hello there Paul, I see you've broken down there."

_What do I say? I can't tell him it's true!_

He put on his best poker face. "Actually, Layton. I've just stopped on the side of the road to enjoy this beautiful view," he lied.

Layton knew that there was no "no beautiful view" around, since opposite Don Paulo was the garbage dump, and behind him was the public toilets.

The professor smiled. "You can't fool me, Paul. I've solved many cases before."

"Yeah, I know," he sneered. "Well anyway Layton, you sitting there in your fancy smooth running car, bragging isn't helping the cause."

"Yes, Paul. I was about to offer you a ride."

"I never said I wanted one."

"But how on earth will you get home?"

"I'll-" he stopped to think. His house was too far away to walk. Maybe he could build a flying machine using the resources he could find in the dump? Eww.. just..no.

He sighed heavily, knowing that he was about to let Layton be the hero once again.

"Ok, Layton, you win. You be the gentleman, save the day, etcetera, etcetera."

He opened the car door of the back seat and groaned once more. "Really, Layton, do you have to bring those kids everywhere with you?"

"Of course, I'm the professor's apprentice!" Luke chimed from middle.

"I wouldn't say he takes _me_ everywhere," said Flora, who was on the side closest to Don Paulo.

_Don't worry, Paul, _he told himself. _It's not for long, you can get through this._ "Ok, Flora, you're the least annoying so scoot over to the middle and I'll sit on the side."

The first few minutes were surprisingly alright for the villain, that is until they found themselves in the midst of a huge traffic jam.

"Well everyone," came the professor's voice form the front. "There appears to be a lot of traffic on this road. It looks like we'll be here a long time."

Another groan. I wonder who from.

"While we wait, why don't we solve some puzzles?" Layton suggested. "I'll start. Once there was a mother and daughter. The mother said to her daughter-"

**One confusing puzzle later**

"-so what age will the daughter be in fifteen years?"

Don Paulo just sat, baffled. "That was the most pointless puzzle I've ever heard! Why do we have to work out how old she'll be? We don't even know her! Geez, can't she work out her own age?"

But he then saw that Luke was busy counting on his fingers. "Thirty-two, thirty-three…" his eyes lit up. "Professor I've got it! It's thirty-four!"

Don Paulo rolled his eyes. "Congratulations kid, you deserve a medal."

Luke smiled proudly. "Nah. The professor's given me heaps of those before."

A while later, the car was still sitting in traffic and had probably only moved about a millimeter. But that wasn't Don Paulo's only problem, oh no. Now his problem was that the show off professor, the annoying apprentice and the golden apple were now _singing._

"_One hundred cups o' tea on the bench, one hundred cups of tea. You pick up a cup, stir it all up, ninety-nine cups o' tea on the bench!_

_Ninety-nine cups o' tea on the bench, one hundred cups of tea. You pick up a cup, stir it all up, ninety-nine cups o' tea on the bench!_

_Ninety- eight cups-"_

Don Paulo smack his head against the window, not having a care in the world if it shattered into a million pieces. The terrible song ran repeatedly through his head and he wanted nothing more at that moment than to make it stop. Maybe, just maybe if it was the original version, then he wouldn't have minded, but all this talk of gentlemanliness and puzzles and tea were making him go even more crazy than he already was.

Another while later, they had stopped their terrible singing thanks to Don Paulo's relief, but the car still hadn't moved much. The villain felt that at any moment he was going to let off steam. A lot of steam, to be exact. And then he felt the moment come.

"GRR HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO BE STUCK IN THIS TRAFFIC FOR? I SERIOUSLY CAN';T STAND BEING IN HERE WITH YOU THREE, ESPECIALLY THE HYPOCRITICAL "GENTLEMAN" IN THE FRONT!"

"Hey!" Said Luke defensively. "The professor is a perfect role model for every gentleman and-"

"Shutup, you whiny little brat!"

"Hey!" Luke repeated, this time defending himself. Don Paulo reached across and hit Luke on the arm. "Ow!" he said and hit Don Paulo back. Pretty soon, everyone was in the jumble of fighting and insults, even Flora who was doing it to defend Luke. Meanwhile, the professor was trying to stop them by using the gentlemanly way; politely.

"Luke, you know you're not supposed to-"

"Flora, that is not how a lady-"

"Paul, I expected better than-"

"Oh well," he sighed in defeat, knowing they would never give up. Then when he turned back to the wheel, he realized something. A way they could get out of the traffic in no time. It was the red round lifesaving button on the left of the steering wheel. He could have shouted out in joy at that moment, but a gentleman doesn't shout. So he pushed his finger on the button and in no time, the Laytonmobile had spread out its wings and was up in the air.

Don Paulo and the kids were still fighting, until they felt the wind and the shakiness of the car.

"Hey Layton!" Paul shouted. "Why'd ya turn on the AC?" But then when he looked around him, he realized what was going on and let's just say, was very frustrated after that.

"You mean this is the car that Ibuilt? The one that flies? That could've gotten us passed this traffic the whole time?"

The professor simply smiled and said, "Sorry Paul, I must have forgotten."

Don Paulo was fuming. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"

The professor banged his hand against the horn just in time to stop Luke and Flora from learning a new word that day.


End file.
